i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
