That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
