Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
