its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
