So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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