the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
