STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
