Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
