i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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