I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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