I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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