You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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