They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize