From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
