just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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