My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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