Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
