I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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