If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
try to milk me bitch
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
