We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
