he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
