fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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