So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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