Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize