i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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