WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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