my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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