I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
