How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
