He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
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Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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