Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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