Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Randomize
