I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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