I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
