his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
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The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
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I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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