I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
