Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We need a shit load of segways right now
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
