btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize