omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
God I need to hump something, right now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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