so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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