I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
