butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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