You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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