Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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