I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
