I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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