that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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