Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
