shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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