what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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