her vagine was all disorganized.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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