is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
