North Korea, Best Korea!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
