I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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