I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
