You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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