i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
