So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
