dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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