i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
