she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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