so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize