btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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