That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
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