There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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