Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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