im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
