and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
