I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
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you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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