She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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