I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
