eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
