This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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